


Moments along the Way

by Cor321



Series: A Journey to Parenthood [2]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, schmico week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 20:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cor321/pseuds/Cor321
Summary: Set 3 days after the end of "Journey to Olive," It goes through the process of Levi helping Nico with his grief moving forward.





	Moments along the Way

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt-Injury/comfort
> 
> I meant for this to be a little bit happier, and it is. But grief is a process and I hope that I captured it well.

 

_3 days after Olive (day 11 post birth)_

It was three days before Levi started to wake up from the haze he had been in.After 76 hours of tears, there was none left to cry. And it was then that he noticed how distant Nico had become. Levi didn’t notice before because he had been so physically close, holding Levi as he cried for hours.

 

_7 days after Olive (day15 post birth)_

It was their first day back at work, and they are both nervous. Levi was nervous more so because Nico still wasn't really talking. He would have a conversation with you, but the replies were never more than two or three words.

 

Levi had a decent first day back, although every time he passed the nursery he sighed knowing how good it feels to be a dad, even if it was just briefly. He sat down for lunch with Link & Nico.

 

Link was the first to talk, “Hey man how was your vacation?” He waggled his eyebrows as if to insinuate they spent the whole time having sex, boy was he wrong. The comment also madeNico and Levi both wince, the wounds were still too fresh. Nico got up and stormed off without saying a word. Link gave Levi a confused look, Levi simply replied saying, “Nico will talk when he’s ready. Just give him some time.”

 

_Day 8 (day 16 post birth)_

Levi was looking for his husband when he walked by the nursery. He found Nico in the rocking chair his cheeks stained with tears and his eyes puffy. After taking a deep breath Levi made his way to the chair and sat on his husband's lap. Nico wrapped his arms around his husband's waist and Levi brought the older man’s face to his chest. They don’t say anything, they don't need to, it is enough to just there for each other.

 

_Day 10 (day 18 post birth)_

Sometimes it was the small things that made a person who they were. It was the morning of day ten when Levi noticed Nico take the time to read the newspaper. It was something he hadn’t done since Olive was born and it made Levi feel that maybe, just maybe they were moving forward.

 

_Day 13 (day 21 post birth)_

Nico and Levi both managed to have this day off, so Levi figured they should keep busy. Keeping busy turned out to be running errands, and that meant going to Target, one of Levi’s favourite stores. The shopping went well, for the most part, Levi even managed to get Nico to chuckle at a couple of his really bad jokes, however begrudgingly. But near the end of the trip Nico closed himself off again and Levi was left wondering what had changed.

 

When they got back into the car Levi turned toward his husband and asked, “What’s wrong honey?”

 

Looking off into the distance, with his hands gripping the steering wheel Nico started,“I saw the same elephant stuffed animal you had bought Olive.” He looked toward Levi with tears welling up. “And it’s so damn lonely having no one else to share the burden of grief with. And I don’t want to bother you because you have enough grief to deal with without me piling mine on.”

 

“Nico that's marriage, you share the grief. There’s no way we can get through things alone. We are stronger together honey, any burden that’s too heavy for you just let me know. Besides I’ve been working out,” Levi shows off his epic biceps and it even managed to elicit a small chuckle from his husband. “How about this when we are ready we should tell people. It doesn’t have to be everyone right away, but just when it feels right.”

 

“I’d like that,” Nico replied before turning on the ignition and driving home. Just like that, they ended the day a little bit more whole than when they started.

 

_Day 14 (22 days post birth)_

As Levi woke up a wave of sadness hit him when he realized what day it was. Today was supposed to be a joyous occasion, introducing Olive to their family and friends. Instead, they were deep in the grief of losing a child. Levi turned over hoping to find his husband but he sighed when he realized the bed was cold. Nico had finally started going to the gym again, which should have been a good thing. But he would spend hours there, leaving in the early morning. He would overwork himself to the point that he was so sore the physical pain started to drown out the emotional pain. The thing is, he couldn’t keep it up forever and he would burn out. Levi just hoped that he would be able to find an outlet soon, even if that wasn’t him, Nico needed a way to feel all the emotions so that he could move forward.

 

The day at work had been so emotionally draining. He resected a tumor on a 6 month old little girl. Luckily she pulled through, but after he and Taryn finished the surgery he broke down. Taryn sat down next to him in the scrub room until he was ready to talk. “Nico and I, we adopted a baby.” Her face lit up. “Her name was Olive and she was the cutest little girl that I have ever seen.”

 

Taryn looked back at Levi confused, “Was?”

More tears fell as Levi shared with his best friend, “The birth mom, she changed her mind.” Taryn’s face dropped.

“Oh, Levi.” She said, taking his hand into hers.

“Eight days, we were a family, the three of us. For eight days and then she just wasn’t ours anymore and I felt like my whole world imploded.” Levi rested his head on Taryn’s shoulder. “That was two weeks ago.”

“Levi, I don’t know what to say. I don’t think there’s anything I can say to make you feel better besides letting you know that I’m here if you need anything at all.”

“Thank you. I’m not okay right now, but I’m starting to feel like I will be.”

______________

 

After the surgery with Taryn, Levi had no more surgeries scheduled so the two of them both agreed that he should take the rest of the night off. So Levi decided that he would make dinner for his husband, it wasn’t much but it was homemade and it was comfort food. Just a few minutes after he finished dinner the door opened. Nico came into the kitchen and gave Levi a fond look, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. It was the closest thing he had seen to a smile in weeks and Levi cherished every second of it.

 

Nico walked up to Levi and gave him a quick peck, “You made dinner.” A hint of surprise evident in his voice.

 

“I did,” Levi responded with a small smile. The ate in mostly silence until Levi spoke up. “I told Taryn today, it was so hard but I know I needed to do it. We resected a Wilms tumor from a little girls kidney, she was only 6 months old. I was so emotional after we closed that it just kind of all came out. I’m glad I told her though it feels good knowing that other people know of her at least.”

 

Nico took hold of Levi’s hand on top of the table and gave him a soft smile before speaking himself. “Today Link And I treated a little boy, he had fallen off his bike wrong and fractured his clavicle. It made me think of Olive and me teaching her how to ride a bike. So while we were scrubbing out I told him and he just held me while I cried.” Nico looked up from his food, “Levi, I’ve not felt this light since it happened, I didn’t realize how much I was just bottling up.”

 

Levi got up and walked around the table before sitting on his partner’s lap caressing his face. “You have no idea how happy it makes me that you feel even a little bit more like yourself, I’ve been worried.”

 

Nico smiled gently, “I know babe, and I will get there.”

 

_6 months later_

Slowly but surely the two men started to heal, they started to tell more people and with that, the burden wasn’t quite as heavy. They still had days where the grief hit them out of nowhere, but they were there for each other and got through the challenges as they came.

 

Nico and Levi are lying in bed, the older man twirling his husband’s hair. “I think I’m ready to try again.” Levi sat up and gave Nico a confused look. “I’m ready to start the process again, I want to have a baby with you, I want a family.”

 

Levi looked at Nico with concern, “Are you, sure baby?” The thought of trying to adopt again brought up that ache in his heart to have a family with the love of his life. But it had taken so long to build themselves back up he was scared of getting broken back down, and he didn’t know if he could stand seeing his husband so distant again.

 

“Levi, babe.” Nico brought him back to the present. “I need you to hear this,” he said softly. “I was crushed after Olive. I was not myself, I felt like a ghost in my own body for weeks, not really present in life. But you broke through that wall, and not all at once because you knew that’s not what I needed. Little by little though you cleared the fog. You say I’m an artist, well baby you’re my superhero, lifting me up and saving me from myself.” Levi’s eyes were glossy and he was doing his best to fight the tears from falling. “So before you second guess whether or not I’m ready, I know I am because I have you in my corner and with you, I know we can do anything.”

 

Tears were streaming down Levi’s cheeks before he brought Nico close for a quick peck. “We’re really doing this huh, we are going to be dads,” Levi said with a smile.

 

“We are going are going to be a family,” Nico said with a smile that could light up the world.


End file.
